Two and a Half Stans
by WDW
Summary: Dipper and Mabel meet a kid with a missing tooth and a striped shirt. He insists that he lives with them in the Shack, keeps calling Grunkle Stan 'Ford', and says his name is Stanley. A timeline away, Stanford Pines searches for his missing, de-aged twin. [1.5 Stans crossover w/ canon GF, set pre-NWHS/ATOTS]
1. Chapter 1

[A/N: Because I have no self-control, apparently. This is a crossover between the 'One and a Half Stans' AU (where Stan gets de-aged and is taken care of by Dipper, Mabel, and an increasingly guilty Ford) and canon GF, BEFORE 'Not What He Seems.' As you can tell by the title... Stan, Ford, and Stanley will be in the same scene at some point.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this, but this is definitely supposed to be a lot more handwave-y of canon than my other fics. So what if spontaneous dimensional travel doesn't happen? I want old men angst and secrets to be unearthed, and this is how I'm going to do it, I guess.]

* * *

Mabel nudged Dipper with her shoulder. "Dipper!" She whispered, voice hushed, a finger pointing excitedly. "Look at him!"

There was a boy wandering around in the Shack, oblivious to their presence. He looked just a few years younger than the two of them, with a single missing tooth and a bandage over his cheek. He looked vaguely confused.

Dipper blinked. "Shoot, do you think he got left behind from the last tour? Grunkle Stan left ten minutes ago, so -"

"Nooo! Not about _that_!" She pulled him closer, her grin growing larger. "Don't you think he looks familiar?"

He stared at the kid in question, completely lost. Brown hair, round face, striped shirt... "No," Dipper said finally. "Not ringing a bell." The only kid he knew around that age was Gideon, and the last he had heard, the jerk was still locked up in jail.

" _What?_ " Mabel groaned, a little too loudly. "Dipper, I can't believe -"

"Mabel, he's gonna hear us!"

She yanked him down behind the counter, just as the mystery kid turned to look in their direction. "Dipper, he looks just like you when did in third grade!"

Dipper blinked. "Uh, no. No he doesn't."

"Well, let's see how long you can deny it... when I have _photographic evidence_!" Mabel whipped out her scrapbook, narrowly missing Dipper's head.

"Mabel, be careful!"

"And all I need to do is find - here! Look at that!"

Dipper swallowed down the embarrassment that always came with seeing pictures of himself as a kid, and. "Wait a minute," he said out loud. "Wait, this is -"

"Ha! _Now_ you see it!"

He ignored her and squinted down at the picture, enraptured by the newest mystery to come his way. "His nose is a bit bigger, but really, that's _it_ ," Dipper muttered to himself. "He even has that little tuft of hair. Or... maybe I'm looking too much into this, and it's just all a coincidence..."

Mabel peeked over the counter. "He really knows his way around the Shack," she said. "He's looking in all of our best hiding places."

"Huh, that's weir - Oh no." The realization hit. "Mabel, get down here!" He pulled her down, hiding both of them from view again. "I think he's looking for _us_!"

"That's _ridiculous_ , bro-bro. He doesn't even know us!"

"Mabel, that guy is not what he seems! This - this could be like the Shapeshifter again! What if that thing escaped, and now it's pretending to be me so no one knows the truth?"

Mabel squinted. "But he doesn't look _exactly_ like you. Just a lot like you."

He was panicking, he knew, but couldn't bring himself to especially care. "Then, he could be a clone! An evil one, not like Tyrone. Maybe the cloning copy machine messed up a little, and -"

"Hey! Calm down, bro-bro."

"Mabel, that guy could be dangerous! We need to - " A round head popped into view right behind Mabel, pearly whites exposed in a wide, gap-toothed grin. "Agh!"

"Dipper, what's -"

"It's him! It's the guy! He's right behind you!"

Mabel yelped, and both twins scrambled away from the intruder. Dipper eyed him warily, left hand already curling into a fist, preparing himself for anything -

\- when the boy burst into giggles. "Y'guys should've seen the look on your faces!" He managed through his laughter.

Dipper and Mabel exchanged identical looks of complete and utter confusion. "Um," Dipper tried. "Who -"

"I can't believe the both of you guys were hidin' from me all afternoon!" The boy exclaimed, with a accent that was decidedly _not_ West Coast. "Did Soos do somethin' to the Shack when I was outside? A buncha exhibits are missin', and I don't see 'em anywhere!"

"I d-don't -" Dipper stammered.

"What my bro-bro here is trying to say," Mabel cut in, a serious expression on her face, "is... who the heck _are_ you? And, you know _Soos_?"

The boy's grin faltered. "Geez, Dipper, Mabel... this isn't funny."

He met Dipper and Mabel's resolute stares, and swallowed. "I - I'm Stanley, remember? I've been livin' with you guys f - for a _week_ now... and 'course I know Soos! Y'guys were the ones who introduced me to 'im."

'Stanley?' Mabel mouthed in confusion. Dipper shook his head. "We don't know anyone called Stanley," he said out loud.

"But, I -" The boy's - Stanley's expression jumped from confused to distressed to resolute.

"W-Where's Ford?" He demanded. "I wanna talk to Ford."

Dipper and Mabel exchanged another look. "Who's Ford?" Mabel asked blankly.

Stanley blinked. "Ford! How do you guys not know _Ford?_ " He asked, sounding almost as confused as they were. "I - It's short for 'Stanford.' He's - real big, and super old, and - and falls asleep on the couch a lot -"

"Stanford - Stanford _Pines_?" Dipper exclaimed, complete thrown out of the loop. There was no way... "You mean," Mabel followed, just as lost, "you're looking for _Grunkle Stan_?"

"Maybe. Y'always called him Grunkle Ford before," Stanley said, almost petulantly.

There was no mistaking it - after all, Dipper and Mabel only _had_ one Grunkle. But... " _Why,_ exactly, are you looking for Grunkle Stan?" Dipper demanded.

"B-Because Ford can figure out everythin'! He's always liked weird stuff. He'll understand, and I'm gonna talk to him. And," the boy continued, almost as if trying to reassure himself, "he won't be weird - not like _you_."

That... did not sound like Grunkle Stan. "I think... you might be looking for the wrong guy," Dipper said weakly. "Our Grunkle... he's just a grumpy old man. And he _hates_ the supernatural. And kids."

"Other than us!" Mabel added.

Stanley shook his head. "He's a grumpy old man _now_ ," he said crossly. "And he doesn't hate _me_." There was something off about the last bit, as if there was a deeper story there that Dipper did not particularly want to delve into. "Tell me where Ford is!"

"He's - busy right now," Dipper said quickly. Grunkle Stan wasn't a bad person, but he wasn't a particularly nice one either. He had a soft spot for Dipper and Mabel, but if some random kid interrupted his tour yelling about the supernatural... As weird as Stanley was, he wasn't _Gideon_. Dipper didn't want to see him chased out of the Shack with a broom. "I don't think he wants any interruptions."

The other boy eyed him warily, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "I just wanna know where Ford is," he said again. "If ya won't tell me where Ford is - I don't care'f you're Dipper, I'll punch ya, hard!"

Dipper stared. "Seriously? You're _nine_ \- "

"Both of you, _stop it_!" Mabel exclaimed, shoving her way between them. "Okay," she said, turning to Stanley, "I don't know why you're calling Grunkle Stan 'Ford' and how you know our names, but there's _definitely_ something weird going on. You can talk to our uncle _after_ he's done with his tour."

Stanley nodded, albeit a bit hesitantly. "But -" Dipper started.

"And Dipper," Mabel said, leaning in towards him to whisper in his ear, "You _already_ beat up a nine year old this summer. Don't make it a habit!"

Immediate disaster momentarily averted, Mabel leaned back. "Guys, I have an idea," she said resolutely. "Let's go find Soos. Stanley says he knows him, right? So if Soos _does_ know him, then we know its me and Dipper who's weird. If he doesn't, then..." Mabel pointed at Stanley. " _You're_ the one who's weird. Sounds good?"

Dipper and Stanley exchanged a look. "Um," Dipper said, the same time as the other boy shrugged.

"Good!" Mabel cheered, and with a surprising amount of strength, yanked both boys with her as she ran out the door.

* * *

Stanford opened the door a crack. "Kids, have either of you seen Stan?"

Dipper and Mabel peered up at him with clear confusion. "He said he was going downstairs to find you," Dipper said, squinting at the clock on the wall. "Fifteen - Twenty minutes ago? I think. You didn't see him?"

His hand clenched bloodless white on the doorknob. "That can't be right," Ford said slowly, a cold pit opening in his stomach. "I haven't seen him the whole day."

"Maybe he's with Soos or Wendy!" Mabel offered.

"That's probably it. I'll - check with them," he said quickly, and closed the door. Stanford took a deep breath, then another, and tried to stop the shaking of his six-fingered hands.

Stanley was fine. Ford was just... being overprotective.

But how could he not, when his brother was - was a _child_ again? A child who still looked at him as if he made the sun rise every morning, who knew nothing of the events of the last forty years. A child, in the town of Gravity Falls, where anything could happen -

\- and where Ford's greatest enemy was always looking for a weak link.


	2. Chapter 2

It took less than five minutes for Mabel to finally give in to her curiosity.

"Soo _oo_ ," she said slowly, dragging it out for as long as she could. Stanley didn't respond, continuing to look ahead stubbornly. Mabel frowned. "Hey, I'm _talking_ to you!"

"...What."

"How _do_ you know me and Dipper?" He was quiet. Mabel forged on. "And, why are you living in the _Shack_? 'Cause I'm pretty sure Grunkle Stan just wanted us here because he doesn't have to pay us to work. Are you working in the Shack too? And, and - is that a missing tooth? How didja lose it? Is it gonna grow back? How long -"

"Why d' _you_ care," Stanley said sourly. "Ya won't believe me anyways."

"Hey, just because Dipper and I have never seen you before in our lives, doesn't mean we don't believe you!"

Stanley made an angry little 'hmph' and stalked ahead of them.

Dipper gave Mabel a worried look. "I... don't think this is the best time," he whispered under his breath. "Maybe Soos can clear things up for us. Where _is_ he anyways?"

Mabel shook her head. "I can't just give up like that! This is a Mabel promise - I _will_ get to the bottom of this. Heeey... Dipper, wait!" Her eyes went wide. "You should help me!"

"W-What - _How_?" He hissed back, incredulous. "Mabel, I don't even know what to _say_ \- a-and, heck, I don't think it's a good idea to keep pushing him like that -"

She looked at him. Dipper relented. He always did. "Alright, fine. What do I have to do?"

"Just follow my lead, Dip-dop!" Mabel said confidently. "Now, come on!"

They caught up to Stanley in seconds, because no matter how much of a head start the younger boy had, he was still working with shorter, nine year old legs.

"Stanley, wait up!" Mabel yelled. The kid turned and glared. "...Dipper here has something to tell you!"

" _What?_ Mabel -" This was bad, so bad, Stanley was looking at _him_ now and Mabel had been planning this the whole time, hadn't she. 'You can do it, Dip-dop!" She mouthed, and Dipper sent her a quick death glare before turning to smile weakly at the other boy.

"Yeah, uh. Hey, Stan -" No, that was weird, _really_ weird. Alright, Dipper, time to think of something to say that won't get you punched by a kid three years younger than you. "Stanley. Um. I know Mabel and I... we kinda got off to a bad start with you, and I just wanted to say that we don't think you're lying." Probably. "It's just... a lot of weird stuff that happens, here in Gravity Falls, and a lot of times, they end up dangerous, y'know? We were just worried you were going to, I don't know, attack us or something."

"...That's what Ford said before," Stanley said reluctantly. "'Bout the weird stuff." Dipper grabbed onto that.

"Yeah, well, Grunkle Stan's right." Wow, those were words that Dipper never expected to say out loud. "Mabel and I have come across some pre-tty dangerous creatures in this town. Heck, just a few days ago, we had to fight this monster that could change shape to look like anyone and anything, and -"

"Y'froze it, right?" The other boy interrupted. "In the sta - stas - in the tube. It tried to act like it was Wendy but ya didn't fall for it and ya froze it."

Dipper and Mabel stared at him. "How did you -" Dipper managed. "How did you _know_ that?"

Stanley's expression turned sullen again. "'Cause ya _told_ me. 'Cept ya said it happened weeks 'n weeks ago. Not a couple'f days."

Dipper stared in shock. Mabel's mouth opened in an 'o' of silent revelation. "Waiit... Does this mean you're - Quick! Stanley, what date is it?"

The boy blinked back at her. "I dunno."

"The month!"

"...August."

" _August!_ " Mabel yelled excitedly. "Ohmigod, everything makes _sense_ now! You're from the _future_! Quick, Stanley, are there flying cars? Dolphins that shoot lasers out of their hands? Wait, did Sev'ral Timez -"

"Mabel, it's mid-July. It's August in like, two weeks."

"I _know_! But can you imagine how much things can change in a few weeks? See, this explains everything! Why Stanley knows us but we don't know him, how he lives in the Shack, why he doesn't call Grunkle Stan 'Grunkle Stan' -" Mabel wrinkled her nose. "But seriously though, 'Grunkle Ford' just doesn't roll of the tongue that easily. It really doesn't fit him. Hey Dipper, do you think we can petition Grunkle Stan to not change his name? Or nickname, I guess, since he still has the same name, just -"

"...Mabel, I think we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves." Not to mention, Stanley was starting to get a glazed look in his eye that was better than his previous, oddly familiar death glare, but not by much. "Hey, uh, are you okay there?" Dipper tried. "You look a bit -"

"I'm - I'm in th' _past_?" The other boy stammered.

"That's time travel for you!" Mabel said cheerfully. "Hey, did you see a guy called Blendin?"

"Time travel?" Stanley repeated. " _A_ _gain_?"

"Again?" Dipper and Mabel echoed simultaneously.

But Stanley didn't elaborate. Instead, his lip wobbled, and his eyes looked suspiciously damp. The twins exchanged an identical look of horror.

"Hey, it's okay," Dipper tried. "We'll find a way to get you -"

"I miss my bro," Stanley said suddenly. His voice was choked.

"Your bro?" Dipper shot Mabel a look of alarm. "Um, what does he look like?"

"Like _me_ ," the other boy emphasized. "He's my twin, an' he's supposed t'be nine and he's supposed t'look like _me_ , just with nerdy glasses."

"I don't think he's here," he said slowly. Whoever Stanley's twin was, Dipper and Mabel hadn't seem him around. Most likely, he was still in the future, whenever that was. "But hey, you'll see him when you get back! It's only been a few hours since you got here, right?"

Stanley shook his head violently. "He's not gonna be there anyways. _Ford's_ there, b-but... he's diff'rent, an' I haven't seen my bro or mom or dad for a _week_ an' -"

Back to Grunkle Stan, for whatever reason. But it didn't seem like Stanley was in any shape to answer questions, and Dipper had no idea how to deal with a crying kid. "Mabel, help me!" He whispered desperately.

His sister waved her hands frantically. "Um, um - "

The sound of breaking branches shocked all three of them out of their momentary panic. T-They _were_ pretty close to the forest, huh? Dipper gritted his teeth. "Who's there?" He clenched his left hand into a tight fist - and noticed, out of the corner of his eye, so did Stanley.

A dark figure strode toward them. The closer it came, the more familiar the shape became - and when Dipper saw the familiar question-mark t-shirt, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Soos!" He exclaimed. "What the heck were you doing in the forest?"

The older man blinked down at the three of them. "Oh, hey dudes. Just, uh, had t'get th'leaf blower back." He gestured to a dented, distorted piece of metal under his arm. "Uh, looks like we're gonna have t'buy a new one... Mr. Pines is gonna be _so_ _mad_."

"Woah!" Mabel exclaimed. "What _happened_ to it?"

"I was tryin' to see if, uh, well, what would happen'f I launched -" Soos shook his head. "'s... kinda hard to 'splain. Hey," he said, perking up. "It's a new dude! 'Sup, new dude?"

Stanley stared at him doubtfully, and wiped away the last of his tears. "Y'always called me 'Mr. Pines' before."

"Sorry dude," Soos said, chuckling. "There's only one person I call 'Mr. Pines', an' you're _way_ too young to be him. Maybe'f you draw wrinkles or somethin' an' drink a lot of milk -"

"Wait, wait a minute..." Dipper turned to the other boy, eyes wide as his words finally registered. "You're a _Pines_?"

Stanley nodded. Dipper blinked. Then... that explained why he looked so much like him, right down to the little hair tuft on the back of their heads. But he had never heard of anyone called 'Stanley Pines', and if he and Mabel really had secret cousins or something, shouldn't they have found out sooner?

"I," Soos said solemnly, "am _so_ confused right now."

"This is Stanley! He's from the future," Mabel said casually, "where he knows all of us and he lives in the Shack too. Also, apparently he's part of the family! Yay!"

"Oh, that 'splains everything!" Soos said brightly, then blinked. "Actually... nah, lost it. Huh?"

"I'm... not sure either, Soos." Dipper paced around in frustration. "Okay, we have a time-traveling relative who's like, nine years old. He has no idea how he got here, we have no idea how to get him _back_ \- argh, Soos, what do I _do_?"

"Huh," said Soos contemplatively. "We-ell, what I'm thinkin' is -"

"Kids! _Kiiiids!_ " The shout was slightly muffled by distance, but the voice was clearly Grunkle Stan's.

"Sounds like Mr. Pines found out what happened to th'entrance to the Mystery Shack!" Soos said cheerfully. "Whelp, gotta run! Hey... Listen, man, you should talk to Mr. Pines!" With that, he disappeared back into the woods.

Dipper checked his watch. "Huh, looks like Grunkle Stan's done with the tours for the day... Well, I guess now's as good of a time as any."

He turned, and blinked at the empty spot where Stanley had been standing just a minute earlier. "What the - Where did he -"

"Ford! _Fo-ord!"_ Dipper and Mabel stared, slack-jawed, at the small figure quickly disappearing into the distance.

"Oh no!" Mabel yelped. "I didn't even see him run off!"

"Mabel, we gotta go! Grunkle Stan's not going to have any idea who he is, and if some random kid jumps on him -"

His sister put a hand to her mouth. "Stan's gonna make him cry!"

* * *

Stan inspected the rather sizable dent next to the door of the Mystery Shack, a single hand on his chin. "Hot Belgian _waffles_. What _hit_ this thing?" At the sound of footsteps, he sighed. "Kids, if this is another one of Mabel's 'modern art' projects, I'm -"

"I finally found ya!" Something impacted with his left leg and attached itself, _and started to pull itself up_.

He jerked. "What the _fu_ -"

Stan looked down. A round, smiling face grinned back up at him, under a mop of messy brown hair. His first thought was, 'did Dipper shrink?' But there was something familiar about the gap-toothed grin and striped shirt -

"Woah, y'look _different_ , Sixer! Is that Mom's fez?"

Stan blanched.


	3. Chapter 3

Mabel suddenly stopped in her tracks, eyes wide. Dipper crashed into her a second after with an 'oof.' "Mabel - !"

He blinked.

Grunkle Stan was standing right outside the Mystery Shack, expression frozen as he stared blankly at the small child he was holding by the neck of his t-shirt. But he didn't look angry or anything, he just looked… shocked. Completely and utterly astonished.

"I - I think Grunkle Stan _knows_ him." Mabel said, clearly awed. "I mean, Grunkle Stan doesn't even let _us_ climb on him!"

Dipper nodded slowly, a hand already on his chin in contemplation. "Yeah. But how? I mean, Grunkle Stan's not exactly..."

"Let's ask him!"

There was no time - or point - in protesting. Mabel was down the driveway in seconds, pulling Dipper along with her.

Grunkle Stan looked up at them. He looked like he was one loud sound away from a heart attack. "Kids," he said roughly. "What's, uh." He met eyes with the boy dangling from his hand, and looked away quickly with a grimace. "How, uh, did this happen?"

"I don't - Time travel, or something, we just found him - " Dipper said, the same time as Stanley gasped, "Ford, you don't know what's goin' on either?"

"You found him," Stan said flatly, ignoring Stanley vehemently. "...He - hot Belgian waffles. He just showed up outta nowhere? Typical Gravity Falls weirdness?"

Dipper and Mabel nodded simultaneously. "He's from the future!" Mabel added. "I think. It's all very confusing." Stan blinked, then looked at the boy dangling from his hand with new eyes.

Stanley tried again. "Ford - "

The old man flinched. "Sorry, kid. I can't help ya."

"But - " "Stan, you have to - " The twins blinked at the same time and cut off abruptly.

Mabel tried again. "But Grunkle Stan, he says he _knows_ you! And, and - he said his name is Stanley _Pines_ , so that means he's part of the family, we gotta _help_ him!"

"I know who he is, Mabel," Stan said slowly and painfully, as if he was pulling teeth. "Look, I'm - I'm not gonna throw him out or anything. Of course I won't. But 'm just sayin', there's not much I can do to get 'im back to where he was. I'm not - you kids know I'm not good with any 'f that supernatural business."

The twins nodded, but Stanley looked positively scandalized. His small face had gone red. "W-Whaddya _talkin'_ 'bout, Sixer? Ya - ya got a whole _lab_ with all your - "

Stan slapped a hand over the boy's open mouth, who immediately began to squirm. The old man smiled weakly at Dipper and Mabel, his face a sudden, bloodless white. "Kids, you play outside for a bit, yeah? I, uh -" He moved towards the dented door.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked. "What - "

"J-Just gotta talk to the kid here for a bit, sweetie. Half 'n hour tops. Uh. Keep outta trouble, tell Soos he's payin' for the new leaf blower."

"Wait -"

The door slammed shut. There was the familiar sound of the lock clicked into place.

"I'm not sure what just happened," Dipper said slowly. "They - they knew each other. But - not? Grunkle Stan was acting _strange_. Like, not regular weird, but -"

"Super, mega weird," Mabel agreed with a frown. "And what the heck is 'Sixer' supposed to mean? Bro-bro, it looks like we have a mystery on our plates."

And then, she grinned, pearly whites glinting in the Oregon sun. "Dipper, I think I know exactly what we're gonna do today."

* * *

Stan set the kid down in the living room, and sank down onto the couch, trying to calm down his rapid heartbeat. But - oh, hell, a whole _lab_? There couldn't be any other explanation, and if there was he didn't want to know it.

He swallowed. This was a bad idea, the worst, but he had to know. "How far in future are ya from, anyways?"

"Couple'f weeks I guess. Least, that's what Mabel said."

"And - an' I'm there in the future?" The kid nodded, but Stan had to - he had to _know_. "How - How do I look? All my fingers an' limbs attached? He - I'm not hurt or anythin' like that, right?"

The kid's confusion was almost palpable. "I dunno, ya looked normal t'me. Got all twelve of ya fingers an' everythin'. Only difference is…" He stuck his tongue out in throught. "Ya dress a whole lot cooler in th'future! You looked like one'f those treasure hunters or - or rugged explorers, like in the movies!"

Stan let out a deep breath of relief, an invisible weight off his chest - one that had been there for three decades. "Rugged explorer, huh? I like th' sound of that."

After thirty years, after all those late nights cracking ciphers and cheap instant coffee bitter on his tongue, he finally brought him back. And - he was _fine_ , not like the mutilated wraiths that haunted his dreams for years, missing arms or legs or eyes, hissing, _You did this to me, Stanley. It's all your fault_.

"Sixer, what's _really_ goin' on?" The kid was looking at him suspiciously.

Stan sighed. If this kid really was him as a kid, he should tell him the truth - not the whole forty years of loneliness and desperation, but at least just - show the kid how many fingers he has, and let him make his own conclusions from that. But his hands still remained clenched into fists, hiding his lack of six fingers.

It had been thirty years since anyone had called him 'Stanley.' Thirty years since anyone knew who he was and who he wasn't.

Knowing himself, the kid wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. Even if he agreed not to tell the twins outright, all it took was a moment of error for the truth to come out - and then, where would Stan be? Explaining to Dipper and Mabel how he had lied to them all summer - not just about his knowledge of the supernatural, but about his entire identity?

He couldn't do that - not until he absolutely had to. "Whaddya talkin' about, kid? Nothin's goin' on."

But it was pointless. "I don't understand," the kid said after a long pause. "You're not actin' anything like you do in the future. You used to call me by my name. An' you dress differently and _sound_ different - ya don't talk like Ford," he said with dawning realization. "Ya talk like Pops after he's got a bit too much to dri -"

Ah, there it is - what he had forgotten. Stan might have spent thirty years pretending to be his brother, but he had never really been a particularly good actor. It was a miracle he got as far as he did with Shermy - but then, she hadn't seen Ford for years before Stan had shown up. This kid, on the other hand, had grown up with Stanford Pines. This kid was his twin - and Stan knew exactly what that entailed.

Or maybe, Stan just never got the hang of lying to his family.

"No need to bring _him_ up," Stan said flatly. "But ya got me there. Fine, kid. I'm not Ford." He unclenched a single hand and raised it up for inspection - five fingers, no more, no less. "You happy now, kid?"

The kid's eyes went wide, but to his credit and _his_ relief, he didn't look scared at all. "Woah!" He leapt to his feet, an expression of awe painted on his face. "If you're not Ford - then, you gotta be me!"

Whelp, that went a bit better than he had expected. If he had ever been as paranoid as Ford had been, this could have gone a whole lot worse. Stan just hoped his luck held. He allowed himself a small smile. "Yup, that's me. Stan Pines."

"I didn't think I was gonna actually see ya!"

Stan quirked an eyebrow. "What, ya haven't seen me at all in that future of yours?"

The kid shook his head wildly. "Nah. Dipper and Mabel - the ones I know, not _those_ guys out there - they said the future me was on a monster-huntin' adventure! He - You haven't shown up yet, but I've only been stayin' with 'em for a week or so"

'Monster-hunting adventure', huh? Stan's smile became much more strained. Something had happened to him in the future, and judging from how little the kid knew about it… it wasn't anything good, for sure.

"Hey, future me - how come Dipper and Mabel don't know who Ford is?" Ah, there it was. Luck running out, yet again. "When I asked 'em where he was, they thought I was talkin' about you!"

"Ford's - well, uh. He's also on a monster-hunting adventure," Stan lied through his teeth. "He won't be back for a while, so I'm 'fraid he won't be of much help there."

"Ya can call him, right? Then he'll come back an' get me back t'where I'm supposed t'be."

"He, uh. He's got some really important stuff he's doing right now. Won't come back for anythin'."

"But he _would_! I'm - we're more important than his research an' the supernatural an' all that stuff! That's - that's what Ford told me in the 'future, an' he wouldn't lie."

Stan's mind went momentarily blank. "He, uh, said that? Stanford said that to you?"

The kid nodded furiously. Stan wondered briefly if it was possible to be jealous of himself.

"Alright, fine. I'll give 'im a call. No - No guarantees though. He might be some place where he can't pick up. But, uh, I'll call him," he said quickly. It wasn't _completely_ a lie, and that's the story he was going with. "Until then - you get along fine with the kids, right? I'll dig up an old sleepin' bag or somethin', and you can sleep in their room. I'll figure somethin' out."

"...What if Ford doesn't pick up?" The kid asked, voice subdued.

"Uh -" Stan's mind went blank momentarily. Of course Ford wasn't going to pick up - hell, for the last thirty years, Stan hadn't even known for sure he was _alive_. But he had to think of something. "Ya live with your Ford, yeah? He's probably already noticed that you're gone. And uh, I'm guessin' it's jus' a matter of time before he's figured out a way to get ya back. Ya just gotta sit tight 'til he shows up."

Honestly, he had his doubts. As much as he wanted to have faith in his brother, Stan couldn't help but remember their disastrous final meeting, after a decade without contact. How he had shoved his damned journal at him and told him to go as far away possible.

But it had been thirty years, and judging from what the kid said earlier… maybe Ford had changed. Despite his best efforts, Stan felt hopeful - once he got his brother back - in a matter of weeks, not years, not decades - maybe, they could finally get along again. Rebuilding the Stan o' War was too big to hope for. But maybe, his brother would at least want him to stick around.

The younger Stan, at least, seemed to take it to heart. "Man," he said, "I can't believe Dipper an' Mabel haven't even _met_ Ford yet. I bet when my Ford comes to get me, they're gonna be so surprised!"

Surprised... Right.

"...About that, kid…" Stan grimaced, then put on a poker face. "Keep pretendin' like I'm Stanford, alright? Long story short, he was supposed to be the one lookin' after Dipper and Mabel here, but then he heard about some abnormality down in Arizona or someplace, and, well. You know how he is. He called me up and made me fill in for 'im. Remember when Ford got sick right before that big math test that he couldn't make up, and we studied all day to take it for 'im? Kinda like then."

The kid stared at him in shock. "Ya want me to _lie_ to Dipper and Mabel?" He asked, voice hushed.

"Uh, yeah. An' also everyone else in this town. It's uh, not really a lie, if ya think about it. Just - not telling the truth." Stan gave up. "Hey, I don't want to lie to those kids either, alright? But it's for Ford's sake, kid. He could get in a lot 'f trouble if people find out the truth."

"But - but you'll tell 'em the truth, right? Once Ford comes back from monster huntin'?"

Stan smiled weakly. "Yeah, uh. Sure kid."

* * *

Stanford sank into the kitchen chair, face bloodlessly pale. Dipper and Mabel looked at him nervously. "Don't worry, Grunkle Ford!" Mabel tried. "Stan's a smart kid. He can get himself outta anything!"

"Perhaps," he said doubtfully. Then he sighed. "No, you're right, Mabel. It's only been a matter of hours. I just need to ask around, I suppose." He shouldn't be worrying like this. Bill had no dominion at all in the physical world, and it was broad daylight - that alone eliminated a few dozen threats and probabilities. And Stanley knew not to go into the forest.

Yet, the fact remained. His brother was gone.

But Stanford was going to get him back.


End file.
